In a move clearly designed to toy with my emotions and make me fall back in love with her, my ex-girlfriend Burger King has gone ahead and decided to offer a Whopper and a Beer Value Meal. They’ll be offering a selection of canned beer that “will include Anheuser-Busch and Miller/Coors products” (read: Bud, Bud Light, Miller Lite, and Coors Light) and some terrible place they decided to call the South Beach Whopper Bar. Seriously, Burger King, what could have prompted this change?

“The Burger King customer is aging, so they’re just trying to grow up with the customer,” Linda Lipsky, a restaurant consultant, told USA Today.”

No, keep talking, I’m totally believing you right now. At least all this is located down in already-shitty Miami.

“…more Whopper Bars could be coming to New York, Los Angeles and Las Vegas, according to USA Today.”

Crap.